“Well, what do you think?” Jake asked as he and Marie stood at the coffee bar waiting for their drinks.
“I don’t know, I’m just not sure that I’m ready yet.” Marie looked around for a place to sit. She loved this coffee shop, but since school had started back, it was next to impossible to find a place to sit.
Jake and Marie were what the Barista’s would deem as regulars. Every morning, one or both of them showed up. Sometimes dressed and ready for the day, other times looking like they had just rolled out of bed and stumbled over, which was accurate, since they only lived two doors down. Today, Marie came looking prepared to stay, her laptop and school books under her arm.
Jake picked up the drinks and followed Marie to a table in the corner. “I really think it’s time, Babe, we’ve been talking about it forever, let’s just do it and see what happens. It’s something we both want.”
Flipping open her laptop, Marie paused for a minute, “I know, Babe, I do want a baby, I mean, we both do. It’s just that, well, what if we fail again? I don’t think I can handle another loss.”
He reached across the table and touched her hand. “I know. But we can try a different route. I’ve put some money aside, if you still want to try the invitro.”
She took a slow sip of her Americano and glanced around the coffee shop contemplating how to respond. The therapeutic sound of the espresso machine humming in the background, her mind wandered to this time last year, when they both sat here, having a very different conversation. It was hard to imagine that a year had already passed by. They had just found out she was pregnant, only weeks later, to go through a tragic miscarriage.
She took a few deep breaths, and said quietly, “No, you don’t know. You experienced loss too, but I’m the one who carries the child. I’m the one who can’t carry the child. You can’t know what that is like.”
They’d had this conversation what seemed like a hundred times before. They both knew there was no easy answer. No quick fix. And neither of them felt like expending the energy to convince the other of their point of view.
Jake brushed his crumbs off the table as he stood up. “It’s ok, love, we don’t have to make a decision today. Focus on your school work, I’ve got to get going anyhow.” He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before he turned to go.
She watched him as he dropped his cup and napkin in the trash can, and held the door open as two little old ladies walked through talking loudly to one another. He was such a good man, she thought. He’d make such a good father.
